body language

The Definitive Book of Body Language ► Book Summary

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Body language something that the majority of people pay later to not tension to use in body language in the correct way can be used to influence others and gain authority if you have bad habits of body language you could come across as having low confidence perceive that’s lazy and a weak person something that a potential partner or a boss pays close attention to in this video we’re going to be reviewing the book the definite sad book of body language by Alan and Barbara piece this book will help you gain a greater insight into communication with others and will make meeting new people and exciting experience lesson number one understanding the basics according to the authors of this book women are way more perceptive than the majority of men this means that they’re able to spot the contradictions between someone’s words and their body language women pay really close attention to small details this is why most men are caught lying to their women psychologists at Harvard University conducted a study that showed that women pay more attention to body language than men the participants were asked to watch a short video of a conversation between a man and a woman the participants were asked to decode what was going on by reading their expressions women score accurately 87% and men score accurately 42% this is also true for mothers since they depend on the toddler’s nonverbal signals in their first years most women had the capacity to out communicate any man on the planet MRI scans show that women have fourteen and sixteen areas in the brain to evaluate other’s behaviors versus a man for the six areas in the brain this explains why women say men talk very little and men say women never shut up the female brain is organized for multiple tracking the average woman can’t talk on the phone watch her favorite TV show listen to a second conversation and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time if you pay attention to fortune tellers most of them are women they say they have the power to see a person’s future researched into the fortune-telling shows that they use a technique called cold reading which has an accuracy of almost 80 percent when reading a person you just met this is done by a close examination of people’s body language if you would like to do a better job when reading someone’s body language here are three rules number one read gestures and clusters this means that when you’re trying to read someone’s body language you should know that each gesture is like one word with different meanings for example the word nails this word can mean a toenail or a sharp metal piece using construction it’s only when your prior words with other words that you can understand what the word means gestures come in sentences called clusters which will reveal a person’s attitude or feelings a body language cluster just like a sentence needs around three words in it before you can accurately define each of the words let’s look at a cluster example if someone has their arms and legs crossed and your head and chin are facing down and their hand holds the chin while listening to someone this can mean they are unimpressed to what they’re hearing the first gesture in this cluster is to fold your arms and legs which are a signal for defense the second gesture here is the head and chin down signal which reveals being negative or hostile and the third gesture is the hand supporting the chin which reveals boredom number to look for congruence when nonverbal signals and verbal signals are incongruent people especially women depend on the nonverbal messages and disregard the verbal context for example let’s say someone disagrees with you their body language will align with their verbal sentences if the person agrees but their body disagrees this will be in congruent number three read gestures in context if a person across you have their arms and legs slightly closed with their chin down when you’re trying to sell them something this will mean they are feeling negative or it’s rejecting your offer if a person has the same body language but they are outside in a cold weather this will simply mean that their code and not defensive like the other individuals sitting across if you learn how to put things in context before trying to read someone’s body language or else your evaluation will be weak another way to become a better reader is to watch TV with no audio and practice reading people’s body language you can also go to a public space and examine people’s body language lesson number two the power is in your hands if you want to come across as honest and friendly show your pons when you talk this will show that you’re not armed and that you are not a threat this happens to consciously that person tries to show their palms when they say dislike I didn’t do it to show that he’s being honest a man run online to his woman will tend to hide response which would give off a rare feeling which says he’s lying in the other hand women will try to look busy or talk about unrelated topics to avoid the subject when they’re lying so persons are taught to keep an eye out to customers palms as they explain why they cannot buy their product if their palms are open they’re given a valid explanation when their points are closed they’re usually lying that being said knowing how to read someone’s hands can become a valuable tool to unmask a liar or hire an honest person also by simply keeping your palms open you can pressure another person to be honest as well there are three main pump commands gestures you should know about number one the palm up position this shows submissiveness and non-threatening use this hand gesture when talking to people number two palm down position this shows immediate Authority similar to the hand gesture that Hitler used and number three hand closed finger pointed position this invokes a negative feelings and this can translate to something like do it or else is portrayed by people as annoying the authors of this book recommending shake hands with people that are happy to meet you do not initiate the handshake with a person who dislikes you because a handshake is a sign of trust and welcoming so if you initiate the handshake with a person that’s not happy to see you you are forcing them to meet you instead wait for them to initiate the handshake or use a small head nod as a greeting women who initiate the handshake and some places are perceived as more open-minded and make better first impressions there are three basic subconscious attitudes that are transmitted when you handshake with someone you just met number one dominance this can translate to something like he’s trying to dominate me I have to be cautious this happens when a hand is slightly turned in palms facing down it does not have to be fully facing down but if the person’s hand is on top of yours they are giving you a dominant handshake if your hand is slightly facing up the person might be trying to dominate you this is usually done by managers especially men if someone gives you this handshake you can straighten their hand by getting your left hand and putting it on top of theirs to strain out the handshake this is a good measure for women to use when they get this handshake if you get this handshake often with a certain person who may be trying to intimidate you on purpose when they reach out to shake your hand grab the top of their hand and shake but be aware this will surprise the person so use it as a last resort number two submission this can tri-state ooh I can dominate this person he’ll do what I want your palm is usually facing up this is the fact that when you want someone else to take control or make the other person feel in control of the situation for example when you’re making an apology and number three equality this can try say – I feel comfortable with this person when two dominant people shake hands bottom power struggle happens as both try to turn their hands into submission this creates a feeling of equality and respect this messages are sent without us even being aware of them in order to create a rapport with someone use these two steps first make sure your hand and the other person’s hand are in a vertical position so that there is no dominance or submission and second iPilot same amount of pressure they give you for example from a scale of 1 to 10 if they give you a 5 and you give them a 7 go down to their level if they give you an 8 and you’re a 4 step it up for women it’s a good idea to reach out their hand as early as possible to avoid awkward handshakes with men lesson number 3 the magic of smiles and laughter a French scientist in the 19th century did the first study in the topic of smiling he studied the heads of the people executed on the guillotine to examine how the face muscles work he discovered the two most respect control a smile the see grammatic major muscles that run down the side of the face and connect to the corners of the mouth which forced the mouth back to show the teeth and the second muscle called the orbicularis oculi that posed the icebag and causes the eyes to get narrow and produce the cross free effect on the side of the eyes when smiling the cinematic major can be controlled and are used in fake smiles the orbicularis oculi act independently and show a true smile if you want to know if a smile is a true smile check for the wrinkles on the side of the eyes people who lie will smile with their mouths when we smile at someone the other person usually tends to smile back this happens automatically and professor by the name of Ruth Campbell from University College London police we have a mirror neuron in our brains that is responsible for recognizing faces and expressions he says that we tend to copy other facial expressions without us even knowing this is why you should smile often at people so that they can have a positive attitude towards you on the other hand if someone ever smiles and the corners of their mouth are turned outward this usually shows that they kept negative emotions throughout their life if kept this way the corners of the mouth will permanently stay that way which gives the appearance of a bulldog studies show that people tend to stay away from this individuals give them less eye contact and avoid them when they walk their way so this is you you should practice smiling more often or else people will run away from you not a good thing when trying to socialize also men are seen as more attracted by women if they can make them or other people laugh this is because the ability to make others that they seen as dominant and women prefer someone whose dominant practice on smiling often this will create a more positive atmosphere to the people around you number four arm signals when someone has a negative or defensive attitude it’s likely for the other person to for disarms on his chest showing that he’s feeling threatened this is because as children we learned to hide behind something to protect ourselves we hid behind our mothers or a table whenever we felt threatened as we grew older we learned that hiding behind things it’s not acceptable so we began using our arms to protect ourselves cross arms are meant to put a barrier between you and the person you don’t like people who use to cross arm gestures come across as uncertain or insecure people tend to say they do this gesture because if you’re comfortable but remember when you use your body a certain way your signal others without even knowing others will react negatively to your gesture practice are not folding your arms in public settings this will make you more approachable those persons are taught to keep an eye out to those who have fall your arms when they spot someone doing this gesture they have to find a way to unfold their arms by making them hold something like a book or pen or sample etc this will make the other person lean forward which is a gesture of interest you can also practice the power of touch by touching the purses elbow or hand this is okay because they are considered a public space and away from intimate parts but be careful not to do it on everyone because in other countries this is not acceptable donate light 3 second elbow or hand touch can create a momentary bond with someone if someone looks at your hand when you do this don’t repeat the action these shows they don’t trust you elbow a hand touch when done discreetly grabs attention reinforces the comment increases influence on others makes people remember you and creates a positive impression there you have it guys a quick review on this book that will help you become one percent better thanks for taking the time and God bless and make sure to subscribe also let your friends know about my spanish youtube channel which covers the same content but in spanish link will be in the description so next time