body language

Decoding Deceptive Body Language

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when I was in fifth grade I won an eating contest by eating five chicken-fried steaks I used to volunteer at the Palo Alto VA hospital to help them perform autopsies when I lived in Australia I used to work nights as a bartender as a professional mover as well I drove bakery school to come to Stanford one of us is lying and we hope by the end of our presentation you have a better idea of who that was today we’re going to make you into the best two truths and a lie players the GSB has ever seen because today we’re here to talk to you about the body language of deception we’re going to be drawing heavily on research by body language expert Carol Gomez and with this knowledge you should be able to spot liars in games in interviews in negotiations and even presentations we communicate a lot with our bodies we learned earlier in the quarter that over half of the total impact of a message is communicated non-verbally the same is true with line so non verbals can be important and reliable tells and our presentation today we’re going to start from the top and work down detailing common cues of deception we’re going to start with the face move to the hands and end with the feet have you ever thought of our in sunglasses for business meeting five tough negotiation for a date probably not that will sound weird however so however some people do it poker players do it why did they do it because I didn’t go to Stanford now they do it because they know that your eyes talk more than you want them to do once one thing the pupils the pupils are different and directly wired to your brain and because a director right your brain does not much you can do about it when you’re excited they’re going to dilate if you dis simulator interested they’re going to retract Parker’s player don’t want you to see their hands through their eyes that’s a way by which you can receive through your eyes when you disable eight typically your eyes going to start blinking frenetically much faster than you usually do all you’re going to avoid eye contact altogether police know these cues very well so luckily for you in Silicon Valley and the US generally while you’re going to work people don’t wear sunglasses even don’t California you never know another way where you can read people’s 9 through the face because you’re good mammal you know the expression of the six major emotion smile smiling associative happiness sadness anger disgust but the project has ever been no them they’re universal so people are going to try to fake it let me give you two advice to hint how to detect it the first one is the emotion shows first on the face the first thing that’s going to come if your emotion come at the same time as you speak then such a dissimulation it’s fake so second one is an emotion actually lasts less than a second so any manifestation demonstration of this emotion if it lasts more than one second you’re probably taking it as well one last thing it’s on your tongue in a recent poll by a great newspaper four percent of American say that they believe that lesson people were among the u.s.

And trying to take over the US government I cannot comment on the veracity of that but I can give you two things first being called lizard is not a compliment on your honesty second is your tongue is going to start and the pressure to flee phonetically in that short if John Kerry in 90 minutes 90 second testimony flips this tongue like a snake eight times I’ll let you make up your mind about what it says but I can tell you one thing keep your tongue in looking at the eyes and the face is that enough though you also want to pay attention to the hands and the gestures in particular you want to pay attention to three things the first is where the hands are going when we lie we tend to the movements with their hands that we wouldn’t otherwise some of these include covering your mouth as if that brain was telling the body you’re lying you might get caught and there’s consequences so cover yourself the second is we scratch your nose and we do that because we release more adrenaline when we’re nervous when we’re lying and therefore our skin becomes it we also tend to rubberneck over here in a reassuring reflect that we have since we were little kids the second part is timing just as result mention with the facial expressions with gestures timing is also of the essence every time we speak and we’re gesturing at the same time we always gesture first and then say the words but when we lie we usually say the words first and then do the gesture in this video hopefully you’ll be able to see the differences and see how whenever but I also have one side to the American I want you to listen I’m gonna say this again I did not have sexual relations with that woman this room do you believe in you know you know if you didn’t know that he was lying you will be able to tell that something’s off there’s a difference between I did not and I do not hopefully right now you’ll be able to tell that that difference usually implies that someone is not being completely honest the third thing to look for is the position of the palms will you believe me more if I’m talking to you like this or if I’m talking to you like this our palms are a part of your body that we use to connect with other people a lot that’s why we handshake that’s why we way we’ll never agree people therefore whenever someone is lying is very hard to do so with their palms exposed so what we do is we they put them in our pockets we just put them facing down or we put them behind an object that may be in between us and the people that we lied to such as a desk gesturing is the most primitive way of communication that humans have and for that reason we tend to do the movements very instantaneously even when we can rehearse our words that we say when we lie the gestures have a mind of their own so they’re more involuntary by now hopefully you will be able to see that if you pay attention to where the hands go the timing of the movement and also where the palms are facing we’d say a lot without saying them well Daniel just showed us the importance of looking at the hand gestures to detect lies and Rudolf had mentioned the facial expressions Jonah Mero who’s been an FBI behavioral analysis for the past 20 years an author of what everybody is saying claims that the most honest part of our body is actually our feet and this is because when we try to control our body we focus on our facial expressions and our hands but we often don’t rehearse our feet so there’s really four main things you should look out for with the feet the first is how you stand so I’m standing here with my weight equally distributed with between both my legs this shows that I’m much more comfortable about what I’m saying and I’m taking a firm stand on the subject but if I were to cross my legs this is a much more closed and defensive position I’m much more uncomfortable about what I’m saying and I’m likely to be more nervous about it and if I were to shift my weight from side to side or rock back and forth this is a sign that I’m trying to calm myself and again I’m likely nervous about what I’m saying to you the second thing to look out for is how often the feet are moving so if I’m fidgeting my feet if I’m tapping them if I’m winding them around things it’s likely another sign that I’m uncomfortable with what I’m saying to you the third thing to look out for is the direction of where my feet are pointing this is an indication of my interest level and my liking towards the person that I’m talking to so if we were to have a conversation and my feet were pointing towards the door my torsos it like the knees that I want to make this and the fourth and final thing to look out for is this concept of ankle locking and this is where one ankle crosses the other and this is a sign that somebody is likely withholding information from you for example in therapy sessions a lot of patients will lock their ankles as are withholding their emotions and in negotiations if the person across from the table from you is locking their ankles it likely means that they’re withholding valuable concessions so for all these reasons remember that one of the most honest nonverbal communicators are actually your feet so take a glance down at somebody’s feet when you’re talking to them and look out for the for signs of lying unbalanced stance a lot of feet movement the feet pointing away from you and ankle walking so at this point we’ve really picked apart the nonverbals of deception we’ve talked to you about the face we’ve talked about the hands and we’ve talked to you about the feet just to bring it back together it’s important to remember to view behaviors in clusters so look for at least three signs of lying before calling foul and if you can think about the context of what’s normal for the individual that you’re observing now we don’t condone lying per se but we would encourage you to use this knowledge not only for others but for yourself so the next time you’re at the World Series of Poker don’t forget your sunglasses to cover up those dilated pupils or if that’s not in the cards consider your next tough negotiation or interview situation we’d love now to turn to questions would love to hear anything that you would like to ask us but first we want to answer what might be the most burning question in the room who is lying