NLP PODCAST #2: Explaining NLP To Muggles – How to Talk The Walk

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three two one hello and welcome to the
No B.S. NLP Podcast! My name is Nicholas Rave this is my partner in crime… Morgan
Lane Bennett… and we are here to help you get NLP out of your head and into the
world. We like to think of this podcast as NLP, for smart people. In today's
episode we're going to teach you how to explain NLP to muggles aka non NLP
people. We're actually going to give you 29 different definitions for NLP! Morgan: Two of which are actually good. Exactly! So first and foremost, why did we decide
to do this as our second episode in this podcast? The answer is very simple.
Because in all the years that I've been teaching NLP, for seven years teaching
and over ten years in the field, one of the most common challenges that people
have expressed to me is that no matter how many years they've spent studying it,
they still have a hard time explaining what it is…

Morgan: What does that say? … to people. And I don't think this is… this is a bad thing. If you go and take a class on
communication… Morgan: yeah… and you can't even come back… Morgan: You spend two weeks learning about it… and you can't even explain what it is. This is a real problem. Why do you need to be able to
explain NLP to people first and foremost because if you don't explain it they
will to themselves what I mean is if you can't explain accurately what you mean
when you start talking about NLP you they are gonna start creating they're
gone in their own mind and they're gonna hear
the word programming for us and if you're lucky because the first like you
go oh hey what do you do i do NLP okay so that's one one question one answer
and you really haven't told him anything because now they're like if you're lucky
they're like well what's it I'll be yeah but I'm just gonna be like oh and then
walk away and then you say well it's neuro linguistic programming which well
they walk away go oh okay if they know what it is if they don't know what it is
and if really lucky they're gonna go what'
neuro-linguistic programming and now you're three questions in and you still
haven't answered their first question about what do you fucking do and now you
actually have to try to explain what the fuck they're all like with the
communication clear communication so we want to clear this up we want to help
you to understand why in this podcast people
have such a hard time explaining what NLP is and we also want to give you a
whole bunch of definitions that we actually think are kind of hilarious and
illustrate the problem with why people can't explain it because one of the
reasons people can't explain it is there's so many bad definitions out
there there's so many people who are trying to explain it and don't know
clearly don't know how to explain it properly one of the reasons that it's so
important for you to be able to explain NLP accurately is you need to be able to
model what you learned if you're sitting here saying I learned these excellent
communication skills and tools you better be able to use them in explaining
the tools themselves yeah and it's it's one thing to explain it accurately but
you have to explain it if you can explain to the accurate they'd have
somebody not understand you then obviously the meaning of your
communication is the results of you dying yes remember so if I can go well
it's this and I'm correct in my definition but they're still like I
don't get it then you haven't explained NLP this is a very important point that
you explained I explained NLP very differently
based on who I'm talking to if I'm talking to a prospective client who's
gonna come work with me one-on-one and I'm gonna be doing work with them or I'm
explaining it to a prospective student who's gonna come study NLP with me or
I'm getting my hair fixed and the person there says what do you do I'm gonna
answer the question what do you do or what is NLP very differently based on
what they're actually asking and to me that's part of NLP is the emotional
intelligence to know what are they really asking what do they want to know
what do they want to get from me by asking this
question and I think that in order to be able to define NLP accurately in
multiple contexts you have to have what we call a meta level understanding of
NLP you can't just understand it at a surface level you can't just memorize
definitions and spit them back at people you actually have to be able you have to
know what it is like there's a there's a metaphor that I love when have you ever
seen somebody who when they get on stage they just are totally relaxed and they
always seem to know what to say in response to what's going on in the group
and they may not even have a clear outline but they just know how to
communicate in a way where it's always valuable the way I have one of the
strategies I've learned from those types of people is that what they do to speak
that clearly is they don't memorize things they just go inside and then they
talk about what's in there they talk about what they know they talk about
what they see they talk about how they see the world and that is a very
different thing for me coming from an acting background where it was about
learning the script and learning the right lines getting to this place where
in order to communicate effectively it's just about saying what you know and or
at least what you know right now and that is what I mean when I say
understanding it at a meta level you understand at a level where you can
explain it to beginners and to advanced people in different ways so this leads
me to the big question I think which is why do so many people have such a hard
time explaining NLP what it is because it's a stupid name yes they're fancy
pants or whatever but it's like too much no you totally write in it so a neuro
linguistic programming came out of the 1970s what was super cool and hip in the
1970s computers computer programming was like the big thing at that time
so neuro linguistic programming plus they were trying to communicate
about it in a way that was scientifically accurate and I appreciate
that but it was never meant to be confused or friendly comes back it's
technically it's accurate but it doesn't communicate what it's actually doing
right and so many people have tried to rebrand re label NLP because the names
the name turns people off the name is cumbersome it's hard to describe it's
hard to explain until today yes so we're gonna help you
with that we're gonna help you to be able to explain neuro linguistic
programming and not have to rename it into something else the other reason
that I'll add to this is that neuro linguistic programming is a super
complicated and enormous field there's so many different things that come under
the umbrella of neuro linguistic programming it's communication it's
psychology it's mind it's personal development it's self helpy type stuff
and and by the way there's a lot of as we discussed in our last episode there's
a lot of bullshit that comes along with the dead oh yeah so we're gonna talk a
little bit later about the Wikipedia page for NLP I'll save them for right
now we started off the table but this is exactly my point
why do so many people because there's a bajillion different definitions 29 at
least right that people have come up with to try to explain it and it'll be
is such a huge and complicated field there's so many different aspects to it
that it's hard to nail down what it actually is and what isn't
NLP yeah right which reminds me of a story
so I sent a friend of mine to track and he loved it yeah I was like you're gonna
love it and he did and he learned a lot of stuff and he went to a music festival
the next weekend and he was like hey man I was using my sensory acuity and some
reframing stuff to help people to like have a better time if they're having a
bad time which reminded me of a movie that I saw so I'm telling my friend
about this movie it's a documentary called st.

Misbehaving about a guy named
wavy gravy who is like oh this guy among other things he was the emcee at the
original Woodstock and so wavy gravy is telling the story in the document
about how he was at the original festival helping people who were having
bad times in the brown acid man and so someone will come into his tent they're
like and he's like what's up man but you know hey what's your name and the guys
like yeah bill and he goes know what's your real name at which point the guy
goes and wavy gravy Texas consciousness and sends it to another Billy know us
right and my buddy he goes oh that's an LP and I was like no it's that's not NOP
because I know Pete was even around back then I said it's an opiate hadn't even
been invented yet that was something that worked
what wavy gravy did was something that worked that can be looked at through the
lens yes an LP and model yes right but wavy gravy wasn't doing an LP Milton
American wasn't doing the Milton model right right
i-i'll of talking about this idea NLP is not really a thing like NLP was created
by modeling communication patterns that worked but everything in NLP was stuff
that people were already doing right like I love to say Milton Erickson
didn't know the Milton model and there were probably things that he did that
nobody quite modeled perfectly but you know we took what we could from it right
but this is such this is another reason why it's so hard to explain to people
what NLP is even people who have studied it because you can you can go out there
and you can hypnotize someone and then walk away from it and and someone can
hypnotize someone without knowing what hypnosis is they can know nothing about
the definitions of hypnosis they cannot even believe that hypnosis exists and
they can still hypnotize someone right the person who's being hypnotized and
the person doing the hypnosis can both have no knowledge of what hypnosis is
they can even book both believe that it doesn't exist and yet still do it that's
fucking weird and that's why there are so many misconceptions about NLP one of
the main reasons that people have such a hard time defining it is because
there are so many different definitions most of them a lot of them are horrible
yeah so let's let's get into some of those but before we do that so we've got
29 definitions before we do that we're gonna have a quick word from our
sponsors hi it's me I'm the sponsor so in order to fund this podcast I've
created two amazing new programs designed to help you take your NLP and
hypnosis skills to the next level the first is a program I actually started
running at the beginning of this year called the NLP dojo the dojo is a
hands-on practice and skill building program where you can get personal
feedback on your process in real time from me it's a super small group program
and is exclusively for practitioners and master practitioners and right now I
have three spots available the second program is called the NLP bootcamp and
it is a monthly full-day virtual training where we cover specific topics
all the important topics in NLP like sub modalities or the Milton model or parts
it's different every month and I call it a bootcamp because it's half content and
half practice so whether you are already a master or you're one of the many
people I've talked to who feel like you took the trainings but you didn't walk
away with the confidence to really make use of your investment I've designed
these programs specifically for you now this is literally the first time I'm
mentioning either of these publicly up till this point they've been by
invitation only so I don't even have websites up for these programs yet but
if you're interested you can email me at Nicholas at Nicholas rave calm Thanks
and now back to the show okay welcome back thanks for sticking around
you want to lead us off with our first yeah we're so working we can start
talking about all the different many different definitions of NLP were to
start off with what a many favorite are awful and the thing is like so should we
call it where this campsite you know what okay wait wait let me let me say
this okay this we found this on the website for a
company called NLP Maron now I'm gonna say this right off that Miren Miren
excuse me I'm gonna say this right off the top of my head I don't know these
people I've never taken any trainings but I
will say I have talked to people who have taken trainings with them and they
spoke very highly of them I love a man so big fan I'm not knocking them I'm
just saying what the fuck we have on your website with you let's take a
listen to this cuz this is exactly these are smart people doing smart things they
were eligible but they can't explain what they're doing you cannot on the
press outside so if you will neuro-linguistic programming is a
wonderfully rich mix of perspectives and perceptual and behavioral skills and
tools for personal development and enhanced interactions with others what
though so that's like just SEO word salad jumble so let's go this again so
neuro linguistic programming is a wonderfully rich mix of perspectives and
perceptual for and and perceptual to it participated so neuro linguistic
programming is a wonderful is a wonderfully rich mix of perspectives and
perceptual and behavioral skills and tools for personal development and
enhance interactions with others okay like I
talked about putting someone into a trend yeah like maybe that works if you
say it to somebody I can and here's the Donald site it's like that
that seems like it was written by committee it's the ultimate thing I want
mine in there well I want mine in there too so please do not define neuro
linguistic programming Masek example these people know what
they're doing at least we think they do this is a
classic example of what we're talking about so there's a problem with the way
people explain this stuff because they're just people aren't being
accurate so there's a book I don't have my my library here with me but I used to
have a stack of these things look so there's a book called NLP for dummies
not my favorite book I'll read presuppositions by the way right good
they know and not even just the title it's not my favorite book on NLP for a
number of reasons I think there's a lot of it's not terrible there are worse
ones believe me there are worse ones but I don't love it and here's why there's a
section in there where they have ten wreaths or ten definitions ten ways to
define an LP for dummies for dummies and some of these are okay some of them are
completely off the wall so let's just go through this rapid fire okay so what is
NLP the art and science of effective communication okay but does that really
say what it is like if you explain that to somebody would there we go okay you
know from a marketing perspective like if I'm just like you know shooting shit
with somebody like I need to get them I'm not hitting that doesn't really tell
me what it does that's not Apple check out this next one what is NLP the key to
learning the key to learning well because no one ever learn many things
literally no one has ever learned anything it is the key to learning the
only and and is that what NLP is about learning that's that's the whole thing
like what this isn't a list of definitions of NLP number three it's
about what makes you and other people tick what what is NLP it's about what
makes you and other people tick that's not a definition and you're ticking look
he's got a tick uh yeah it's very scientific oh yeah that's a very
technical definition uh and what is NLP it's the route to get results you won't
get the results you want in all areas of your life that's pretty broad the rooms
visit get all at what you want in all areas of your life
again when you take the definition and you make it that broad it doesn't mean
anything right and and by the way that's the sort of thing that makes people go
like on the Wikipedia bullshit that make people go yeah this smells like self
helpy bullcrap exactly so what else what is NLP influencing others with integrity
you wish I wish first of all it is NLP related to the concept of influence that
one absolutely I'll grant that one hundred with that but influencing others
with integrity abso-fucking-lutely nods wishful
thinking an LP has nothing to do with integrity whatsoever it can be used with
integrity but it's not inherently of integrity at all next one a user's
manual for the brain I got to admit this is actually one of my favorites one of
the ones I used before I figure out the one that I use yeah there's there's an
actual book one of the better books on NLP by Michael's Hall L Michael Hall and
Bob Bowden hammer I hope I got those names right
two great writers on the topic of NLP wrote a book called user's manual for
the brain and it's there I think it's their practitioner manual like that when
you go take a practicum them that's the manual anyway great book very
well-written very thoroughly described little Chuck down in some places for the
average person but I love that definition and at the same time does
that really describe what NL what it is and even if it does it doesn't like like
okay here's what my users manual for my camera
okay yeah but what is Abraham exact write that what is a camera that's not
there it's close yeah it's it's more practical and it's it's more useful in
certain circumstances and it is one that I use admittedly I do use that as a
definition or don't you go there okay the secrets of successful people
what is NLP the secret of success is use marketing copies oh you can tell just
like is this is just like ripped out of people's flyers all successful people
have used an LP and has ever been successful without it
fucking bullshit okay the way to creating your own future now we're just
off the rails completely what are you what are you even talking about – the
route to get the results you want those are basically the same yeah NLP helps
people what is NLP NLP helps people make sense of their reality the toolkit for
personal and organizational change a toolkit I don't mind that one and I
actually kind of liked that they had the organizational thing in there and I like
the idea users manual for the brain toolkit for personal change fine
that's alright it works for me some yeah I mean there's a couple couple keepers
in there so for dummies in a book that is that in that section is specifically
trying to give you a list of definitions they if they elucidate the point that
people have a hard time defining NLP right before this and then they give you
this list so here is one for not dummies alright so here is one that I think is
technically accurate brought to us by Richard Bandler himself all right so you
know straight from the lips of coo coo cachoo
who's who's set so much of this in motion for both of us right I mean it's
just like he really laid this out but here it is an example of not really so
here's a really good one but it's a mouthful now wait a minute this actually
is the dictionary definition right or the expert English dictionary contacted
Richard Bandler one of the founders of NLP and asked him to write a definition
for NLP for the dictionary and the your point is this one might be accurate but
it is the mouth it's right now I mean it just like the title it's just like the
name he like doubled down on Gurley with the programming law let's let's do the
same job defining it that we did title rights right let's go
neuro-linguistic programming a model of interpersonal communication
chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful patterns of behavior
and the subjective experiences underlying them no no you gotta start
over try it again okay and they're all acoustic
programming a model of interpersonal communication okay chiefly concerned
with the relationship between successful patterns of behavior okay and the
subjective experiences underlying them okay I like that it's a system of
alternative therapy based on this concept okay yeah you see this is the
problem I like that definition yes it's right
but if you like fucking hairdresser no way in hell
can I go communication oh you haven't read the Oxford English
Dictionary I see well so here's another definition that Richard Bandler
apparently gave which I also think is good but it has an iffy use of the word
magic okay so and we all know that those the old covers of all the old NLP books
were all like the side of somebody's van wizards and shit you see the structure
of magic because they were they were doing magic but okay so here's another
definition for Richard Bandler neuro linguistic programming was specifically
created in order to allow us to do magic by creating new ways of understanding
how verbal and nonverbal communication affect the human brain now okay all
right so here's the problem we know what Bandler means when he says magic but
your average person what are they thinking this is about card tricks
so NLP was created in order to allow us to do magic what are you talking I mean
technically yes I know like technically we know you know you've had results that
went boom change impossible things happen wha right yes right but if you
were to explain that to somebody would it turn them off so this this and it
depends on who you're talking to for some people that is actually gonna
make oh you're gonna do magic that's great and if if you're using an
LP you need to be able to define this to different people if I'm talking to a
fucking scientist or anyone with some modicum of critical thinking in their
head and I use the word magic that's a real big red flag for me
that I might be talking to somebody in a cult right alright so what else you got
okay so we're starting to get into a couple up here that I actually like so
there's a book wish I had it maybe I'll put a picture of introducing NLP can you
grab it Morgan's gonna use NLP to do magic ready
three two one yay look at that Wow so this book introducing NLP by Joseph
O'Connor and John Seymour my version is green but I think this is a different
version of it doesn't really matter of minds better this is probably my
favorite introductory book on NLP I read through it just recently again and I was
just blown away by how much better it's written then it's not necessarily the
most complete and detailed and thorough book on NLP but as far as like a book
you can actually read yeah and recommend cuz that's a yes there's so many people
like whatever I'm like a structured magic right so something simple
something that does a good job of explaining and I think that book is very
good now that being said I'm going to say even with a book as great as this
one if you read this whole book you are gonna have a pretty good idea of what
NLP is even in a book that I like as much as this their definitions of NLP
are still a little sketchy in my opinion where you go so there's
two that I found that I marked out from this one of them is the art and science
of personal excellence I still see that as an application of NLP do you know
what I mean by that yeah like NLP is this thing we're going to get to some
better definitions later on NLP is this thing that people decided to use to
pursue personal excellence but it isn't that
that's not what it's about at its core I think a lot of people found it and said
wow I am in the pursuit of personal excellence so I'm gonna use this tool to
do that but I don't see them as synonymous with each other there's
another definition here which is NLP is a practical skill that creates the
results we truly want in the world while creating value for others in the process okay I'm gonna read that one again NLP
is a practical skill that creates the results we truly want in the world I
kind of that that's pretty good yes it's good in the sense that it's
thinking about what is the result that I want and I not I get that right yeah and
it's practical and it's skill it's it's yeah it's a skill set or skill that
creating value for others in the process thing I'm kind of like a personal choice
that goes over the saying like is it has to be integrity yeah it doesn't
necessarily it can be I mean it sounds good sounds good again it's not quite I
get people are trying to sell NLP well you're doing this and you should and it
depends on who you're talking to right and so here's another one we got from
something called NLP Academy again we don't know these people and this is a
fairly good definition you never leave us like look throughout all of our NLP
books and we went online and we typed what NLP and then we just collected 29
different definitions and we just found that most of them were kind of laughable
then they're not gonna compare to the one I use so so NLP Academy says NLP is
the practice of understanding how people organize their thinking feeling language
and behavior to produce the results they do which is yeah yeah I just I find it
weird to say that they do produce the results they do but I don't to be too
pedantic about it but really I mean it's it's there it's a practice of
understanding how people organize their thinking I don't like that language I
behavior though so I would just leave it there practice of understanding how
people organize their thinking feeling and language I'm and behavior yeah and
result results yeah I really like that it's just grammatically it's a little
weird but I don't it's we got one sentence yeah that has all of the major
components right that might be one of my favorites so far someone who knows how
to use okay okay from a MLP org again don't
know these people NLP is a collection of a wide range of
methods and models which create an understanding of thought process and
behavior I really kind of love this and I love it because now we're getting to a
good definition it's a what is it's a wide range of methods and models now
you're getting you're getting vague enough for my taste and specific enough
to actually say something do you know what I mean it's not like NLP is
everything fuck off but anything but this like wide range I'm down methods
and models methods like strategies and processes and techniques and tools yes
and models I mean I'm so big into models of the mind and models of communication
and all of this that which create an understanding of thought process and
behavior this one to me is efficient it's clear it's succinct that that's a
good one commit this one to memory next one comes from a book called practical
magic by Steve Langton he has NLP is a model rather than a
theory of behavioral change and subjective experience I actually put
this one in here specifically because he says it's a model and and makes the
distinction rather than a theory that to me is an important distinction got the
word subjective yes we're starting to get close to my personal favorite which
we're gonna get at the very very end but this relates back to your wavy gravy
story right right because it's not it's it's it's just what works it's it's a
model it's it's a model of what works yes if NLP is a nominalization yeah
right yeah when I talk about the unconscious mind one of my favorite
things to do is teach people about their unconscious mind get them in touch with
it get them to this place where they are having conversations with their own
unconscious mind and then be like hey guess what you don't have an ungracious
mind your unconscious mind is not actually a real thing it's just a model
right and you made up and when you make it up you can use it but you
the map is not the fucking territory right yeah same thing all of it he is
that map right so I go to that next one because this is I love this this one's
pretty pretty good okay so an LP volume one I'm you know what I'm so I'm so
often surprised at how few people even know that's a book right there's a book
called NLP volume 1 there is no volume 2 I don't think they did that on purpose
right but that's pretty funny like from an open loot bag like this when your
first albums your greatest hits so in that book then the subtitle of the book
is the study of the structure of subjective experience and I gotta say
that pretty much hits the nail on the head
what is NLP it is the study of the structure of subjective experience that
is oh like right down there yeah I mean it's it's one aspect of it I mean NLP is
more than just studying yeah it also becomes practical at some point well
we're gonna get to that one a little bit yeah yeah cuz we do I am of the belief
that the tools come out of the study yes right but the study happened first so
the study of the structure of subjective experience we all understand I think
that subjectivity is something we all experience like do
you know that when you look at something and you see it as red that we all
experience it as red like this is green but is your green the same as my green
right and it used to be that prior to NLP most people were just that we kind
of left that to philosophy not so much the field of psychology but in NLP they
really came along and said no there is a structure to this subjectivity and it
matters yeah and this is where stop modalities and all of these different
components of things that you could tweak that actually change our
experience of reality okay so you got this next one yeah okay so this is
exactly a Phoenicia exactly this definition inspires a lot of you and me
but only because the rest of the article the rest of the Wikipedia pinging oh
this is the witness he basically aive talking bullshit witch-hunt which i
don't understand which fuels my conspiratorial fire of like why
isn't this taught in schools not so because if you were to look up what is
an LP on Wikipedia if one of the people you spoke to and said I do an LP and you
kind of did an okay job of coming off as a good person and so oh there's this
thing called NLP and they go home and they look up what is an LP on Google
whatever Wikipedia is gonna come up and so not three research results if you
type in NLP on Google top three so for most people the the actual Kapiti page
is a giant pile of shit that we are gonna go over in details yeah their time
yeah this definition here is fair but you can there you can tell with one
little word what Wikipedia is real thoughts of this I can't tell you how
many people that I have talked to who have come and said you do NLP I went
looked it up on Wikipedia that sounds like complete crap we just have one word in there that will
let you know the other page is bullshit we have a little baggage about Wikipedia
yeah welcome to page okay so here's what you
Peedee is definition neuro linguistic programming is an approach to
communication personal development and psychotherapy created by Richard Bandler
and John grinder in California United States in the 70s okay quick
clarification NLP was not created by Richard Bandler and John grinder it was
created by a whole group of people they were a part of it a significant part but
I just want to clarify that guys just for the sake of posterity so NL P's
creators claim there is a connection between neurological processes neuro
bank language linguistic and behavioral patterns learned through experience
programming and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in
life that's a claim okay so yeah that's my real brother and opiez creators claim
there's a connection between your thoughts your behaviors and language
yeah and your language right and then if you change them you can change things is
that in your life they claim they claim explain to me how it's possible that
your thinking and your language and your behavior could no
be connected yeah and that if you change them you can achieve specific goals in
life oh let's not joke with wild and crazy and healthy waiters clean like to
me that so we're gonna save that let's just let this go we're gonna sort these
Wikipedia fools out it's a pea under the mattress admittedly that is annoying to
us but but won't because the rest of the article goes it's nonsense it doesn't
work it's bullshit it's all the stuff yes like they clearly have an agenda so
our plan is to do a full episode at one point that might take us eight hours but
we're gonna go point by point by point right and do a a complete rebuttal
because everyone's people wait that's that's my big problems it's like when
some Rando goes oh I wanna look up an LP Wikipedian goes bran right and there are
people with a significant vendetta against NLP that literally spam the
Wikipedia page if you go on there as someone who's trying to clarify those
points there is an army of motherfuckers that don't have anything better to do
with their time than come back and be like now fuck that we're not given any
more time those clowns next point this is another good example of a shitty
definition okay this person tries to do the thing where you take the words like
they did in the last one which they did okay with neuro linguistic programming
and talk about them what in the world is going on okay so I'm not gonna list this
person's name because I don't need to throw random people I don't know under
the bus um listen neuro is all about what we think linguistic is all about
what we say and programming is all about what we do hmm
so NLP is the study of what we think say and do so first of all the first goddamn
sentence that neuro is all about what we think what is it no it's not neuro has
to do with your neurology on let me know about that so to me this is someone who
is trying to take neuro linguistic programming
explain it who doesn't understand it at least not as evidenced by the way that
she's trying to I'm not sure if she understands NLP or what her body is yeah
let's let's give a much better we're gonna transition here into a good
definition and then our favorite definitions yes so this next one is
breaking down the words in a way that's even better than the Wikipedia I think
and this one's fairly practical if you really if somebody's like well what does
neuro linguistic programming mean why is it those words yeah so here's how you do
it this came from NLP calm good old doctor Matt who taught me pretty much
much of what I know I am big fan and he this is his definition of NLP NLP stands
for neuro linguistic programming neuro refers to your neurology okay we're good
there linguistic refers to your language yes programming first to how that neural
language functions either were like it learning NLP is like learning the
language of your own mind okay you see that three different things bring them
together and then in the last part is like learning the language of your own
mind hey that's a definition yeah totally
yeah so now I would kind of take that back and as I'm explaining this myself
now we're getting to my definition and I highly suggest you try this on and at
least just try this this is one of the best ways that I have found found that
I've heard people describe NLC okay well they saw really working for a lot of
people you can do by the way you can do this as a follow-up to the neuro
linguistic programming part you can be like well you know here's what NLP means
but you know that's not really a good description how about this this is much
more practical right so I hey what do you do Oh NOP ever heard of you so NLP
what is it NLP is neuro linguistic programming and before they even get a
chance to ask me what is that before they even get a chance to go I'm
confused no sir linguistic programming but what
it means is neuro neuro is your neurology yeah and that is your brain
and your body that is your hardware right linguistic is your thoughts your
emotions your feelings that's your software there we go
programming in why's that you can program the software
of your hardware and basically what I do in my work is a lot of D programming to
reprogram people the way they want to be so NLP is basically the programming of
the software of your heart okay before you move on to your next point I want to
talk about why I like this it's a couple things first of all prior to this when I
ever tried to explain it I would do neuro-linguistic program that's three
things that I have to explain and get in their head but you do it with two you
basically combine them in a different way to talk about hardware versus
software and how they interact which basically takes it from three concepts
to two concepts plus it takes those concepts and talks about them in terms
of things we all understand at this point it's a metaphor that's better than
the original programming metaphor back in the 1970s the hardware software
distinction is something people get how to install apps right right they get
that concept and it's way simpler for people right and if they want to change
something they realize they've got to change the program they're running on
and that the program that they're running on is the thing that's making
their you know their body go around and this also establishes things like we
talked about in the last episode about body awareness and how there's a reality
right to the physical Hardware of your body so you can say like yeah you can
change things with NLP in the software but if there's a problem in the hardware
it isn't necessarily going to go away that distinction educates people about
the reality of their body as well yeah yeah indeed so I love that the hardware
software distinction takes NLP which is three concepts shrinks it down into two
concepts that encapsulate sit in a metaphor people get and then what you do
is you go the programming part is how the two interact but I love that you
have a distinction even on the programming as well because you like to
say that it's not so much programming as it is it's deprogramming
right because so much of what we do with NLP is to empower people to deprogram
themselves everybody so we're totally brainwashed but yeah wash your brain yes
deprogram yes before you put the new stuff in brain
watching is not a thing to be afraid of right that you don't just keep all your
old operating systems and get a new one you upgrade your operating system which
is another thing that I say NLP is great for I'll create a personal opera matter
of fact I would even say this deprogramming distinction is sort of it
fits in mind with the no BS concept as well if you saw our first episode we
talked about the title of this podcast is no BS as a bullshit but it's also no
beliefs no belief systems BS for belief systems because we genuinely believe
that NLP works better when you don't cling to any beliefs too tightly and
that has to do with what are you clinging to what beliefs are you
clinging to as true that you need to deprogram yeah because you can you can
run all kinds of programs on your computer they may get different results
and they may work good or not so good depending on what program you're running
and yet ever results you want like if I'm running on Windows 96 but I'm trying
to you know edit some big giant movie and you know this huge files I'm not
going to get it done so if my goals are to achieve high levels of stuff I need
to have the right sort of ROM and RAM I got to get everything running as
smoothly as possible so that I can do what I want to do I love that you said
windows 96 just because that's not a thing it shows how much I care about it's my geek brain like well I guess I
got kicked out of the windows world okay so this is Morgan's distinction and
honestly I think it's one of the most practical ways I've ever get on the
cross I was gonna say again neuro is your neurology that's your heart it's
your brain and your body is your Hardware linguistics is your thoughts
and your feelings that's your software yes in programming implies that you can
program the software of your hardware there you go do it every time I'm afraid
your personal operating and then if you want to play with it a little bit more
you can say you know if people give you crap on the word programming which
sometimes they will just say you know it's not about programming
it's actually about D programming because you are already programmed
people get that they're like I'm already running with my parents programming and
No so we're like I'm not programming what I'm doing is teaching you how to
deprogram yourself and reprogram right so now this leads me to my favorite
definition so I love Morgan's because Morgan's is practical for people like
from hairdresser to prospective client right somebody who you're like how do
you do what you do and you got to be careful to sell the sizzle not the steak
like they don't want to know how the machinery works generally so just tell
them enough to get how that that it works and then move on because you want
to get to the values that they actually I can reprogram right that's right yeah
you can make changes now I want to get to what I like as a accurate definition
because you remember that one that was talking about a wide range of methods
and models that was a more kind of vague way of describing I think this which is
probably my all-time favorite definition of NLP which I got from Richard Bandler
and that is that NLP is an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail
of techniques here's why I love this definition NLP is an attitude and a
methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques you wouldn't maybe not
believe how many people I talked to who I will say I do an LP or I'm a trainer
of NLP and they will say Oh NLP that's that like change the pictures in your
head thing right yeah I know what that is or NLP oh that's that like anchoring
thing right get you pumped up yeah I know what that is another one yeah Oh
NLP that's that like hypnosis thing right oh yeah I know what NLP is so
here's a deal none of those things are NLP none of the
techniques that are in books on NLP are NLP because NLP is an attitude and a
methodology that leaves B behind a trail of techniques yeah what
is the attitude Richard Bandler went on to define this and clarify it
he said the attitude is one of curiosity and experimentation curiosity which is
looking at people and saying you're not broken this person is not broken to get
curious and saying how is it that this person is producing this particular
behavior and experimentation is about trying things to see what works and the
methodology which some people would argue is the only true NLP technique is
modeling every single technique in NLP that most people think of when they
think of NLP was is not NLP they were created through the application of the
NLP they went out and modeled milton erickson and they discovered rapport
they modeled virginia city ER and they discovered the metamodel they modern
modeled milton erickson and discovered the Milton which goes kind of back to
the wavy gravy thing where it's like wavy gravy wasn't doing NLP right was
doing what worked and I said this before I'll say it again who cares
yeah whatever it is if it works like I could go in and crack an egg on your
head and blow in your ear yeah saying your problems are gone and if that word
and it's an LP that's an OB if it works it's an O that's it this is one of the
things I love so much about NLP is that not only has studying NLP made it so
that I can use NLP but it's changed the way that I look at every other thing I
come across in my life because I spent so much time studying techniques and
processes to help myself and my clients and my students change and transform
their lives and here's what I can tell you I can explain to most people who
make up new techniques why their technique works better than they
understand why their technique works because I look at it through the lens of
NLP yeah because I can go oh you know why that works it works here and here
and there like no it did that exactly I do that all the
time and I can also look at their techniques and I can go by the way it
would work better if you did this right here in between cuz NLP becomes the
frame the lens through which I look at all of these different things NLP is not
a thing it's a way of looking at things yes
attitude and a methodology it's more of a philosophy to me it's more of a way of
their total perspective sometimes I explains people absolutely yep okay so
that's our 29 definitions a couple of them were good at least I hope I hope
you found that useful I hope this helps you to be able to explain NLP better to
other people I hope you understand what NLP is at a better level I hope it helps
you feel better about if you've ever struggled yeah with excited NLP to
people so did I I studied the hell out of it and I'm pretty smart and I was
still like I recommend you go back and listen to Morgan's definition and in a
couple of the other ones that we marked out as being good and practice saying
those that you get comfortable explaining it to people and then the
best thing I think if you really want to get good at this is be courageous in
starting conversations with people like talk about NLP in a no pressure
situation just go start saying you know hey I read a book recently about this
thing called neuro linguistic programming oh yeah what's that now you
have a chance and there's nothing at stake start talking about it more and
try to inspire some people to want to go see how many people you can go get to
read this book hand it out to people if you need to it's a very good book have
fun with it and you know be congruent as fuck
because if you don't believe what you're saying it doesn't matter so I think
that's it for today I hope you found this valuable what was our sign off
again peace love and NLP that's it have a good one
well hello there Nicholas here thanks again for watching this second episode
of our brand new podcast be sure to click the like button leave a comment or
question and subscribe if you want more know BSN LP also please share this video
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you haven't seen it already thanks again project

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