NLP Techniques: One Simple Phrase To Overcome Resistance

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how to move beyond limitations with one
simple word stay tuned damon here with NLP gym one simple phrase to overcome resistance
and that can be resistance within yourself are gonna be resistance and
other people and before I get into this if you haven't already please click
subscribe to this YouTube channel so that you can get these videos on a
regular basis so what is this magical phrase well it's actually kind of comes down
more to one single word in a very simple word and this comes from milton erickson
or the Milton model Milton Erickson was a wizard at moving
people beyond their limitations mainly because he was so effective at moving
himself beyond his own limitations especially when it came to his physical
health so Grinder and Bandler modeled how you
would do this and one of the ways that he would do this was through a wall
mainly through language in hypnosis and they created the Milton model and this
so this comes directly from the Milton model and the word to boiling down to
one word is the word if when you encounter resistance with someone or an
objection a lot of times they're going to use
words like I can't I shouldn't i couldn't i must not those type of words
and these words are called mobile operators in the belt on the metamodel
different than the melting model the metamodel was the first model in NLP and
it was based in language and when somebody uses a word with some of those
words but they're basically doing is defining their map of reality their
limitations in their map of reality we don't experience reality directly weeks
we create a map of reality through distortion deletion and generalizations
and we operate from this map now the map is going to be limited as all maps are
because the map is not the territory reality being the territory and the map
being how we create our understanding of reality which is always going to be more
limited then reality itself like a map is always
more limited than the actual territory however a map is useful because we can
just put in our back pocket and take it on any time we want and we can find our
way through something really fast rather than having to sit in a territory and
try to figure it out so it's a quick way to get through
reality make decisions and your mind is all about taking shortcuts unfortunately sometimes we create
limitations for ourselves and the only way that we can get out of those
limitations is by using our imagination so the word if when someone gives you
throw your limitation they throw you a modal operator say in sales you having
a sales appointment in sales i would highly recommend that you do this before
somebody raises an objection when somebody raises an objection in sales
most of the time you're never gonna have a much harder time let me put it this way you can have a
much harder time pulling the person out of the objection rather than heading the objection off
before they fully form it in their mind if you're a salesperson watching this I
i know you know what it's like to be in a cell's appointment and you just know
that the person is not going to buy you get that feeling that they're not
interested you just know it and you feel like you're you're talking on and you're
not you're not really getting anywhere but for the sake of being in the
appointment you feel like you have to finish it what you can do at that point if he's
starting to get the feeling that they're not going to buy you can ask them if you
were to buy this now I'm just curious which option would suit you best so there's a lot going on in that
sentence so let's unpack it a little bit first you want to do the DF if you were
to buy now because this is so gentle you're not telling them you're going to
buy this and because you're going to buy this I'm curious right now which option
you going to take if you said something like that even if
the person was intending to buy they might not want to because now you're
telling them what they have to do and most people don't like being told what
to do so you say if you were to buy and that
if makes it so gentle and in order for them to understand what you're even
talking about they have to imagine this so if you were to buy this now I'm just
curious the word now gets them to think about
buying it now or – are there are you saying now you're curious this is what we call an ambiguity also
in the melted model and the mind kind of goes off in two different directions and
because it goes off in two different directions comprehending both of these of the
messages it tends to open up your on your
conscience and you have a direct communication with the unconscious so if you were to buy this now I'm just
curious which option would suit you best so you're presupposing that there is an
option that suits them best and in order for them to understand what
you're asking them they have to imagine which option suits them best and now
they start to bring they bring on this idea are they trying it on that one of the
options that you're presenting is actually a the best option for them and
they're starting to imagine having it so this might not overcome the objection
but it will certainly get you closer to where you want to be and it will work
sometimes in fact it will work a lot of times now
i'll say you're you're working with an a an employee and and this happens with
for me all the time your employee has some limitation like
you they haven't you have the sales goal for
them and they say you know what I can I can't do that I can't hit that sells
gold my response to that would be what if you
could or what would it be like it if you did or imagine you've already achieved
that sales goal and look back on that and and notice what is it you had to do
in order to achieve that so there's a lot going on in these
phrases that have to do with the melted model but i really want to stress the
yes if you could if it were that way if you
did what would that be like so what you're doing is you're in you're
asking them to employ their imagination to imagine outside of the boundaries they've created in their map of reality
and this is so powerful because it's your imagination that's going to take you beyond your
limitations so it's your imagination that's going to take you would be on
what's the logical or what most people think it's possible one more example if
you're coaching someone you know the first thing you want to find out when
you're coaching someone is what do they want and you want to find out what's
getting in their way and what are they experiencing right now
and I'll make suggestions about what they should do based on what they want and a lot of
times they'll say well no I I couldn't do that my response is what if you did what
would that be like if you didn't do that so again you have your asking them to
imagine outside of their map outside of their boundaries now I've had people do
that where I would say well you know what if you'd heard they were just
returned you know what the same thing well no I
couldn't do that and I'll just say well no I understand you can't do that so I'm pacing I understand you can't do
that I just want you to think about if you did what would that be like as soon
as I start putting their mind there it starts to seem a lot more possible and
you can do this with yourself what is it that you want to do you think now ok I can do that are I wouldn't do that
already know I want to do that but I can what if you did and start to imagine now
the reason why this works is because you're in using the imagination we can get very logical and are we can
actually hold ourselves back by being too logical when you use the imagination
you get beyond logic and if you think about some people who have done
extraordinary things the only way they got there was through
their imagination because it probably if it wasn't possible before like say the
four-minute mile you've got to imagine what that's gotta
be light outside of what has actually happened with nobody prior to the first person doing it had
ever done it so you have no reference experience for that but you do have an
imagination I Einstein said that you can't resolve you
can't solve a problem at the same level in which the problem is being created so when you have a map a reality that is
creating a certain problem for you you're not going to find a solution
within the same map you have to expand that map and how you
do that is by imagining possibilities that are not currently within your map
so you've got to get out of your head you've got to get out of your map you've
got to get out of your limitations and that's what they mean by thinking
outside of the box you created a box for yourself that you
call reality the only way you're going to get out of
that is by adding more choices to your map and adding more possibilities to
your map and making sure that your map is a useful map and that it's also
grounded in reality so you need to it needs to be someone actually you can the
other thing that Einstein also said is that he would take his imagination over
his skills over his intellect or any of those things because is it was his
imagination that was able to set him apart as a genius logic skills intellect all those things
are going to get you so far they're very very important if you want to go to the
next level though it takes imagination even athletes use their imagination when
it comes to lifting weights that you know they're they're not there is beyond
what they thought was possible even long distance marathon runners they start to
I've heard that they actually imagine that there's like colors of rainbows and
there are running through clouds are really almost sounds like flu summations
but this is how they get themselves to get to that next level so using what if what if you did if if
you could what if you could if it were that way
the word if very very powerful also quite under used NLP so start using it use it on yourself and
use it on other people speaking of overcoming resistance and
obstacles and problems we have core transformation coming up sep tember 16
seventeenth and eighteenth and that is taught by Mark Andreas he is the son
of the woman who created Core transformation which is Connirae
Andreas is his mother if you haven't already please check out and we have all of our training is coming up and also our
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