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How (some) Asexuals …Have Sex 👍🏻

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I think this video is so good And if it were up to me you would watch it in its entirety the whole way through, but I realize it’s kind of long So if you have a short attention span, I’m gonna be dividing it into chapters, both right here and in the description with time signatures so you can skip to the parts you’re most interested in if that’s your thing, if that’s what you would like to do. So chapter 1 is: What is asexuality? Chapter 2 is: What is sexless physical intimacy? Chapter 3: What is sexless kink? Chapter 4: Why might an asexual person have sex, what might that look like? And Chapter 5, my favorite chapter. We actually get to see cute adorable ace faces and ace couples and listen to them talk about how they’re close and affectionate and intimate with their partners. Hey, my name’s Cooper at the hugs. He’s giggling away. We both are very sex positive Aaah! Definitely watch chapter 5.

Thank you! Hello YouTube! So I’m jumping into this with total transparency. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to many of you that this is an Adam & Eve Sponsorship Don’t go! This one is different than one you’ve likely ever seen before, I swear, I promise, I’m confident*ish in that. I do a lot of sex toy vids and every time I do, I get comments like this: Um, I’m asexual. I’m grey asexual. I’m an asexual. Why am I watching this? Why am I watching this? I am in no way sexual… Ah, another Adam & Eve video that I care very little about. I feel out of place Yeah, this isn’t for me. I can’t relate I’m ace and I’m definitely not in the right place Why am I subscribed to this channel again? I’m on the a spectrum but for some reason I really like watching Ash’s sex videos.

Fun fact those were not paid actors We’re on a budget here at “Hardell Media” Those were in fact real live aces! Second of all, thank you for that last sentiment I put a lot of work into making my channel entertaining Probably too much work Got to dial it back a couple notches and third of all this project is for all those commenters. Why? What? What the heck?! For us? Is this an asexual sexy ed video? An asexual sex ed video? Is this really happening? Really? Yaaaay Finally, a video for my people! This is gonna be the a-sexiest video ever! And I’m stoked I honestly don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner! Toys, physical intimacy, sensuality, smell, touch, way, massage Bondage, kisses, kink and even the act of sex! These things are not just for zedsexual folks. Some ace people are into them too! Very true. It’s true. It’s so true! Can confirm! And today we’ll explore some of the many ways that may look before we dive into the hardware though Let’s remind ourselves what it means to be asexual and who better to do that than a person who claims the identity themselves? Amelia? I’m Amelia ace I’m an asexual biromantic youtuber who’s identified as asexual since I was 16 years old In simple terms asexuality is when you don’t experience sexual attraction Which kind of means you don’t experience targeted sexual desire like a lot of gender and sexual identities Asexuality exists on a spectrum, this is because asexual people can experience their asexuality in a lot of different ways There are a whole bunch of identities under the asexual spectrum But the two most commonly talked about are demisexual and grey asexual.

If you are demisexual you don’t experience sexual attraction until a strong emotional bond has been formed. So it could be the only person you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction to is your partner. Grey asexual people are people who have maybe experienced sexual attraction before, but the feeling was so weak or so rare that they fit best in the asexual spectrum It’s important to realize that sexual attraction and libido are two different things. Sexual attraction is about who you are attracted to, whereas libido is about your sex drive. Someone can be asexual and still have a high sex drive Because the desire for sex or sexual contact doesn’t have to be directed at someone. It’s like being horny, but for no good reason Asexual people have different levels of comfort when it comes to sex and physical intimacy. Some asexual people are turned off even by the idea of kissing, whereas other asexual people might like to sleep around or be uncomfortable with the idea of sex with a partner but perfectly happy to masturbate.

In short, it all depends on the individual and you shouldn’t assume just because someone’s asexual, that all physical intimacy is off the table. Thank you friend so by now It should be clear that there is no one way that all asexual people practice intimacy or have sex. Keep that in mind! However, we can look at how some ace perspectives might approach closeness and/or affection. And in this video, we’ll let the toys Take us on this journey. These are nipple clamps. Butterfly nipple clamps. We’re gonna start pretty vanilla and get progressively naughtier. Just FYI. Here we go! One way ace folks might connect is simply by getting comfy and cozy together They could participate in sexless forms of physical contact. Hand holding, snuggle, hugs, spooning, back scratches, playing with hair, these activities can be wonderful ways to express care and fondness.

And what’s interesting is different people have different opinions of what is and isn’t “sexual”, just because society often associates something with sex doesn’t mean every individual feels this way Some people think kissing can be platonic or making out can be sensual so don’t be too surprised if you ever find ace people smooching or doing other things. It might also be worth noting that you can do these activities clothed, in PJ’s or naked, no sex necessary. Sometimes just existing exposed and unfiltered in front of your partner or partners can be a valuable exercise in trust and vulnerability. And I really don’t know what could be more intimate than a valuable exercise in trust and vulnerability. *mocking voice* gay *chuckle* Or you can make snuggles / comfy time a production with special garments like silky robes Oh my gosh. I have a new look. This is my gender. Nipple clamp earrings are my gender. I kind of like this cause it’s not inherently super seductive like other kinds of lingerie.

It’s just kind of pretty and soft. I have to put my shirt back on though because Wearing the robe makes my sports bra visible and that reminds me that I have boobs that makes me feel sad. And now you can’t see my sports bra anymore. You can get even more extra by setting the stage with rose petals that Touch of gold is like my aesthetic and candles. You live right there! And perfumes. These three things all came in a pack called “after dark”. It’s essentially like a romantic night in kit albeit cheesy and cliche these things can show your significant other that you’ve invested thought and effort into your time together and you can totally Enjoy these items without sex. Our culture has just socialized us to think that sex always follows elements like this That’s a construct though We get to write our own intimacy narrative and end it whenever and however we want.

Plus sensual attraction is totally a thing. Sensual attraction is the emotional or physical desire to engage in sensual acts with a specific person. Sensuality is a pleasure that involves the senses. Sight, taste, sound and most notably touch and smell. It can be super enjoyable to feel silk, experience caress, smell candles, taste strawberries, listen to music or the soothing sound of your partner’s voice or view a romantic and/or aesthetically pleasing bedroom. A person can derive pleasure from and/or feel attracted to these things in a non-sexual way Basically, you can titillate your senses without titillating anything else Sometimes I feel like we forget that’s an option because media almost always show sensuality only existing to be a part of foreplay preceding sex. It’s a means to an end in a lot of the stories we consume but again, we can totally write our own stories. That being said, there are a few instances in which we see sensuality, being satisfied and Represented in our world in a way that isn’t always sexual for example massages and bath time These activities can certainly stimulate and amuse the senses especially if you throw in oils or the contour M ceramic massage stone, seriously I made grace use this on me, and it was great My muscles wept tears of joy.

Bath time is nice But it’s warm, usually nakey and you can wash each other which is kind of a sweet partner activity I really like going the extra mile and whipping out bath bombs salts bubbles and Massage wands again. I like this cuz it’s maybe a little phallic but not overtly sexual in my opinion It just kind of looks like it fits in with the rest of the bath set and it’s really non-threatening next to the loofah also It’s waterproof. Don’t worry not trying to electrocute you speaking of non-threatening. Let’s talk about this rubber ducky quack quack This is where things get less vanilla believe it or not If you want to you can actually pop a bullet vibe into this guy and rub him in places We’ve avoided involving genitals thus far. This is where things could change just because a person does not experience sexual attraction doesn’t mean they don’t like engaging with their parts or Satisfying their libido or perhaps they want to pay attention to their partner(s) in that way.

I like this duck because it creates the opportunity/ option to feel things out The situation doesn’t necessarily start out too intimidating or with many sexy Expectations. Bath time could just be bath time or it could go in another direction Or just go for it and throw this thing on. Since we got a little naughty. Let’s roll with it and talk about sexless kink. This is easy They’re gonna chat a little bit about how they navigate their ace identity and the kink slash BDSM scene Hello everyone, my name is EB ima gray a or a grey asexual and I am part of the BDSM community I have been doing BDSM for almost four years now I primarily engage in Power Exchange as part of my BDSM So I am DS or in a dominant-submissive relationship with my partner. Mr Text and we do all kinds of things we do things like puppy play, bondage, sensation play, all range of things and I think there’s a big misconception out there that BDSM is about genital sex.

It is about being able to get off you have orgasms. It’s kinky sex It’s foreplay to sex for some people and all those things are perfectly valid and there are definitely people who engage in BDSM for those reasons But it’s not the sole reason why somebody might want to do BDSM because fundamentally it isn’t necessarily about getting your rocks off. It’s about Engaging and having a bonding experience Over intense emotions and intense or taboo sensations and it’s a way that you can experience the world in a very unique way That we don’t normally get to do in an everyday “vanilla” context as it’s called So in everyday normal life, it can be a great way of Cultivating intimacy in relationships, can be a great way of providing service to your partner so feeling like you are taking care of them, feeling like you were providing for their needs and I think it’s something that Regardless of your sexuality you could potentially want to do.

For example Perhaps you would like to wear a blindfold. For a lot of people This is a sexual activity. But as an asexual person you’d get a lot of pleasure out of wearing a blindfold because it heightens your other senses it heightens the feeling of -you know- having A feather ran across your skin or having nails ran down your back and just being able to enjoy those very unique Feelings and that unique experience having something like a blindfold on because can really heighten that.

You might also really enjoy being in bondage, being tied up or wearing bondage cuffs in a collar. That can really help you feel connected to your partner because in that moment you are relying for your partner to take care of you when you are in bondage They are in control of where you are able to move. you can even take something like nipple clamps, which can definitely have a very significant sexual connotation to them and use them in ways that are completely not sexual because really we decide What has definite sexual affiliations or not to us So if you are using something like nipple clamps: Nipples are not inherently sexual breasts are not inherently sexual You can just enjoy having the experience of having that unique sensation of pressure of pain and of release Just through the use of a clamp. So if you are somebody who is asexual, don’t feel like BDSM is walled off to you There’s a whole world of BDSM out there in a whole world of people who engage in BDSM who would be absolutely thrilled to be able to play with you in completely non-sexual ways and There are a ton of ways that you can take elements of BDSM into your relationship if you’re an asexual person in a ways that don’t necessarily have to have any sexual connotation to them.

That was dope. Thank you so much for sharing For more kinky fun, you can try “trust me erotic playset”, which is really cute handcuffs I love the ribbon and the like gold chain and there’s some like paisley pattern here. Kissable body oil. Ooh It’s sweet. This is chocolate body powder. So you like sprinkle it on your body Mmm, and then you can kiss it off. AAh! I have always wanted a feather tickler. Oh so soft but oh Dust + feather = sneeze. if you’ve watched any of my sex videos before, you know that I like to play games in bed not like manipulative mind games just like playful games So if you want to like play with power dynamics and/or giggled a lot and/or try new things that’s kind of like what I like You could try these like kamasutra erotic play cards They like give you different positions with Illustrations and then directions for different places to touch with the different things in this kit.

Play some games, tickle some things lick some dust and again doesn’t have to end in sex or even be sexual. It can just be kinky and/or Exploratory or a way to spend a Sunday afternoon. So far we’ve explored how some ace folks might get close, cuddly, sensual and kinky. Finally, let’s look more closely at why an asexual person might actually have sex! Either with themselves or with others. Milo? Hi, I’m Milo Stewart and I use they/them pronouns My identity is a little bit complicated. I have claimed the identity of asexual for many many years But I also enjoy “the sec”. Most of the time out in my actual life I use the term bisexual if I’m asked to describe my sexual orientation But more privately those close to me know that my sexual orientation and my sexual life in general is really complicated I do have sex somewhat regularly, but I experience sexual attraction extremely infrequently and further complicating my sexual identity is that I am also a sexual assault survivor. Everyone responds to and deals with trauma differently But for me and makes sex extremely difficult Sometimes I might be horny but not have the spoons to masturbate or have “the sex”.

A lot of times I can’t tell us sex is difficult for me because I’m on the spectrum or because I have a history of trauma and a large part of grappling with my sexuality has just been realizing that my Identity is probably influenced by both aspects while a lot of a spectrum people may find it is more comfortable to masturbate I find that it is harder for me to not dissociate or have other effects of trauma while masturbating Being able to share my sexuality with my partner has been really nice because just having someone Close to me who makes me feel safe, can help me stay grounded in my body Even if I’m just using toys on myself and my partner doesn’t even touch me and then maybe in that moment My partner will make out with me or will like caress my some like non sexual part of my body That’s real nice.

Other aces might enjoy sex. Even if there is only one other person in the world they’ve ever wanted to have sex with and others still might just engage with sex to please a partner or because they just want to get off. and someone happens to be around. There’s many different ways and reasons to engage with sex even if you are asexual Interrupting stuff, here are some other cute ace faces talking about how they get intimate and/or affectionate with their persons My name is Cooper i’m panromantic asexual and for me being intimate is more about being emotionally present and you know Just showing that you’re there for someone and that you’re going to listen to them and always respect them Which is one of the most important things to me is to always have Your identity validated no matter how you’re acting that day Like if I a more physical still respect the boundaries that I told you yesterday because probably still going to be the same -I’m Asher.

-I’m Sage. -and I don’t really know where identify on the ace spectrum and then I basically just identify as asexua -We really like just to hold hands and… – you like holding hands. I don’tas much. you like holding hands. I don’t mind. -You don’t like holding hands? -it’s okay We’re learning things. For us showering is very intimate and not sexual It’s just like being close with your body and then you being familiar with my body but in a way that there’s not any Pressure to do anything. Like you’re kind of more into sex than I am and then but I’m more like physically affectionate than you are And then so it’s like a reverse of what you think would happen. -Mm-hmm so it just ends up that like I’m cuddling you and forcing you in bed, but just to cuddle -and I’m like: but Anyway, because of our height difference, I like coming up behind you and just kind of like -oh sure.

Yeah Hugs. Cause you little. Hey, I’m Jay I’m demisexual and so is my boyfriend who’s currently asleep behind me. Some of the asexually sort of ways that we like showing Intimacy towards each other is by cooking together, domestic things like showering, napping, we do our homework Together, we play alot of video games together. We like doing art and arty sort of things together I paint lots of pictures of him draw him a lot Here’s a painting I did of us like snuggling because I think he’s pretty, so he’s like my muse. We wear matching rings He’s giggling at me. We wear matching rings and we do this to each other a lot, which is American Sign Language I love you, and that’s really cute.

Nonverbal way of expression and affection Hey I’m Morgan and I used a them or she/her pronouns And I identify as grey asexual and bi. Bi as in biromantic but on the rare occasion that I do feel sexual attraction It can be to any gender. I can probably count on my fingers the total number of times. I’ve had sex with my partner I really enjoy holding hands I think that’s my favorite thing, cute little kisses, making breakfast for each, other doing chores for each other, sleeping together -Super important to me!- not just in the sex way but in the falling asleep way So there are a lot of ways to build intimacy and Trust without necessarily having sex although and we do have it We enjoy it because we like being together.

Hi, I’m Donnie. I’m gray asexual and this is my girlfriend Kellen (?) Now what ways are we intimate with each other? We kiss, we cuddle, we sleep together in the same bed And also we have long deep conversations sometimes which makes me feel quite close to you. I’m glad. I dunno, just– I mean we live together which is already quite intimate. Yeah And I mean… I tolerate them. They’re alright. Yay! … I love you. I love you too. My name is Sofia and I’m a demisexual TJ, and I am gray sexual We both are very sex positive and have a really active sex life But if one or both of us decided that it wasn’t something we wanted to do anymore We would just stop and it wouldn’t have any effect on our relationship whatsoever.

Physical touch however is actually really important to ust like holding hands and kissing and cuddling also really important is having honest conversations with each other about everything and anything really, that’s just it That was dope, thank you so much for sharing If you were interested in any of the products you saw on this video You can go to adamandeve.com and use the discount code “Ash” to get 50% off almost any Single item and free shipping on orders of more than $20 in the United States. Astro certain exclusions apply *whispers* I dont’t know what that means. But I had to say it Ok, cool, I hope you like this I loved it I had so much fun making it please go check out the cute ace faces in the description below and I’ll see you later Ok.

Bye He picks up my skin all the time This is the way we’re intimate. Hey, ash My name is Torie, and I’m super awkwardly recording this in a target fitting room I’m from the other side of the pond. My hamsters are making a freaking noise but they’re freaking cute So it makes up for it, but you’re about to watch possibly the most embarrassing thing I’ve done.

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