Are You Shy Or Introverted?

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all right so are you shy or are you introverted and what is the difference between being shy and introverted and I’ve done a lot of internet scouring of different psychology blogs and biology research underneath psychology to really come to a very simple conclusion at least I’m satisfied with the answer that I found I will leave the answer I’m about to give you to your own approval to your own thoughts and to your own commentary I welcome critique I welcome debate if you will because I don’t think I’m necessarily right but this is the explanation that made the most sense to me and when you really boil it down the difference between being shy from my perspective and being introverted because a lot of times those words are interchangeable oh you’re shy you must be an introvert or people assume that I’m an extrovert because I’m very outgoing there are situations where I am very shy and I’ll use those I’ll use some examples to help flesh this out but the bottom line difference between shy and introverted is the difference between preference and behavior let me explain so being an introvert means that you prefer isolation in order to energize yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t like being around people it doesn’t mean that you always favor isolation over being around other human beings in fact I know quite a few introverts who are extremely social some more social than me some were outgoing to me so a lot of those are stereotypes but if you’re introverted you just have a preference for drawing energy from isolation it’s that simple if you’re shy that’s a behavioral thing it’s it can be attributed to anxiety like I’m in a place where I feel like I don’t fit or you’re in a place where you feel like you don’t fit and you can have a tendency to be shy I’ve literally been in places because when I first started off and as I’ve gotten older this has changed a bit because I’m more confident now than when I was 17 years old but when I was much younger when I would find myself in social situations that were outside like going to college for the first time there were a lot of times where I was much more reserved in my behavior than I would be it was with my friends from high school because I had spent time getting to know them I also spent a lot of time as a young person getting picked on so I had a lot of insecurities but the point is people would come up to me after they had known me for while they’re like dude they thought two things either one I was an introvert or two I was very arrogant because I just didn’t engage in people and when I was in a new place like so for example when I first started going to church that was a New World Church as an adult cuz I didn’t grow up in church right I was a heathen for many years you know I’m not the kid that grew up in church and my dad was a pastor and we went every Sunday that was not my reality I didn’t really start going to church at I was in my 20s I dabbled a little when I was in teenager on my own but it was a different world for me so I felt out of place they would use words that I didn’t understand like anointing and phrases that the cliches that the church Hampton made sense to me so when I’m in a place where socially I don’t really understand what’s going on I have a tendency to just shut up and listen because a lot of times I feel like I don’t have anything to add because one I don’t know what you’re talking about like I remember being in Bible studies and they start using Church words and I raise my hand be like look I don’t mean to ask a stupid question but what is that word you just used like I didn’t know what a 19 meant when I first started going to church it was funny one of my closest mentors one of my first mentors he pulled me aside like I love the fact that you asked us questions cuz you’re not the only one in this room that didn’t know that but you just you have no shame so you didn’t mind looking like a dummy he wasn’t saying I look like a dummy but the point is there are situations where me as an almost maxed out extrovert can be shy especially when I’m in especially if I’m in a room because I’m practiced now being in business and working with people as a lot of what I do so I spent a lot of time reading people not in a manipulative way so that I can understand them and respect them properly and a lot of times when I’m in a room where I can read that I’m not normal that most people in this room don’t think like I do don’t talk like I do don’t have a worldview like I do I tend to shut my mouth and just listen or just let them talk about whatever they’re opinionated thing is and then if I’m as hey what do you think I think it’s great man go ahead especially like if my thoughts are violently different from theirs because I don’t ever want to offend anybody like I’m not opposed to it if I unintentionally offend somebody that’s on them it’s not on me but I’m conscious of the idea that I could potentially offend somebody depending on how I behave so I may have a tendency to be more shy I’m not introverted in that situation because my preference is extraversion I want to be around people I want to socialize but I’m choosing to be more reserved and shy because I don’t feel comfortable here like I’m not with my type of people so I’m slightly shy about stepping into this thing and I can you know you can tie that to anxiety some people tie it as far as having like neurotic tendencies or a social or anti-social disorders I’m not saying that because you’re shy you have that but you may have some reservations about engaging with other people that does not automatically mean that you’re an introvert you know what I mean so we don’t want to confuse or conflate those two terms just because you may be shy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an introvert and just because you’re an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re shy you might be an introvert who’s extremely social especially when you get around people who you’re comfortable with or you may be a person who’s not uncomfortable you just prefer to be alone and that doesn’t mean that you’re shy it just means look I prefer read the book man but if I’m in a room with a hundred people I can talk to them or as an intro a lotta a lot of the people I work with in marketing helping people do vlogs and become entertainers a lot of them are introverts a lot you’d be surprised how many entertainers are actually introverted and they don’t have any problem they’re not shy they just prefer isolation and reading books but they are by no means I at all you know I know some introverts who are less shy than me and I’m not really big time shy you know but usually my shyness is based on I don’t want to step on people’s toes like I’m insecure about sometimes I come across as a bit overbearing when I’m not trying to cuz people are very sense and I respect that I respect people’s sensitivities to some of the things that come out of my mouth unfortunately for some people it’s offensive so for you all I share that story from my life just to help illustrate not to talk about myself because I’m frankly not all that interesting but I share this story to help illustrate the difference you know I I’m no longer a max extrovert I’ve come down the chart quite a bit as I’ve gotten older I think part of that has to do with just when you start to find the people you jive with you don’t like to be around people you don’t jive with so you’re more scrutinizing about going into social environments and I would never want to go to a black-tie event I mean depending on who’s having it I guess but it’s not my scene man not a black-tie sitting around the elbow rubbing and kissing hands and shaking babies as I call it but instead of shaking hands and kissing babies hopefully at the Fed you get well the point is being shy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an introvert and being an introvert more importantly because I talk a lot about the INFP personality type because a lot of the people that follow me that’s what they are so I make a lot of content for that group to to respect them to hopefully provide them with good conversation inside a lot of times infps are seen or they even see themselves I’m very shy well are you shy or are you just introverted and you just prefer preferring to read a book versus going to the social hour or happy hour or black-tie event it doesn’t mean you’re shy just means you know going to that event is going to exhaust you and you’re just like I think I’m a stale does it mean you’re shy because in a lot of cases you may find that I’m I’m the one who’s shy as the extrovert because I will avoid social hour because I don’t want to talk about some of the things that no people may be talking about like I’m just not interested in it so even though I get a lot of energy for being around people I don’t get energy around a lot of superficial conversation so there’s that anyway are you shy are you introverted and how do you what do you think about how I laid that out as a unofficial and unofficial definition of shyness versus introversion where shyness is a choice and it’s behavior and being an introvert is preference again introverted preferring isolation to draw energy not just preferring isolation but preferring isolation to get your energy or behavior like avoiding social situations because you have some type of anxiety I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section as always be sure to subscribe so we can keep you up-to-date with all of the outstanding content that we’re making remember that we are stronger than I I love everyone here I’ll see you soon

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