ENFJ Personality: Mind Wiring For Personal Growth

Google+ Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr

ENFJ Wiring of the Mind. Hey it’s Joel Mark Witt from Personality Hacker. As an ENFJ your mind is fundamentally wired differently from other personalities. You’ve probably already heard that you are an extravert, intuitive, feeler, judger. And a lot of articles and resources focus on the behaviors you show the world as an ENFJ. Behavior can be helpful – but it isn’t the complete picture when figuring out your personality. I want to give you a peek inside your mind to expose the mental wiring that makes you an ENFJ.Let’s get started. Your four letter code ENFJ gives us insight into how your mind is learning information and making decisions. The primary way your mind makes decisions is a mental process we’ve nicknamed “Harmony.†It’s technical name is Extraverted Feeling. When evaluating any decision – Harmony asks with social interaction and dynamics.

Imagine a four passenger car. If one of your mental processes could drive – it would be Harmony. Using this mental process puts you in flow. You’ve been using it your whole life. It’s how you decide what to do each day. If Harmony is how you make decisions as an ENFJ, then the mental process we’ve nicknamed Perspectives is how you learn new information. The technical name for Perspectives is Introverted Intuition. When looking at the world – Perspectives is interested in finding deep insight. It tends to ask a lot of discovery questions, like: • What is the meaning of knowledge? • What are the long-range implications of emerging technologies? • How are two people in an argument actually agreeing without realizing it? Think about that four passenger car again… if Harmony is in the driver seat – then Perspectives is in the front passenger seat.

It is your co-pilot mental process and what we call your growth state. Of course – this is a four passenger car so you also have two mental processes in the backseat. Sitting right behind the co-pilot is a mental process we call “Sensation.†Sensation is all about real time kinetics, and understanding the world through your physical senses by being fully immersed in the here-and-now. This mental process has the development of about a ten year old child. Finally – behind the driver of Harmony sits a mental process called Accuracy. We call this your blind spot or three year old mental process. Accuracy asks the question “Does this make sense?†It’s a thinking process concerned with data, truth and congruity of thought. When not used in a healthy way, Accuracy can cause an ENFJ to withdraw and become hypercritical of themselves and other people.

Notice – we haven’t talked about ENFJ behaviors. Instead, I’ve been talking about the mental wiring of your mind. Behaviors can only give us clues to how your mind is wired. It’s far more interesting to dive into WHAT CAUSES our behaviors as people. Here at Personality Hacker – We don’t talk about personality types for their own sake. We think understanding your personality is one of the best ways to frame your personal growth journey.And we attract ENFJs who are interested in personal growth.Next up – I want to talk about the best way to grow yourself as an ENFJ. Remember the car model we used to show the mental wiring of your personality? As an ENFJ your co-pilot is the mental process called Perspectives (it’s technical name is Introverted Intuition). This is what we call your growth position. It’s the highest leverage point for growth in your personality. Perspectives allows you as an ENFJ to slow down and go inward, remembering who you are internally and that you have a unique identity separate from others.

An understanding of your unique identity reminds you as an ENFJ that you have needs that also need to be met. Growing your Perspectives process can be a challenge. Every personality type tends to avoid growing their co-pilot mental process. But here lies the power of understanding your personality. You will build more satisfying and intimate relationships when you embrace and show to others your inner intuitive wisdom. As an ENFJ – Your Perspectives process can help you refine what’s right for you. Don’t ignore the advantage of increasing the discovery of your internal world. Start asking “Why†questions. Trace behaviors of yourself and others to their origin points. Slow down and find more time for internal reflection When someone offends you – practice shifting into their perspectives and understand why they make the choices they do Argue both sides of a disagreement in your head and find five reasons why each side could be valid Find how your inner space is a retreat from a world that assaults you with endless neediness Do what it takes to explore your inner world.As an ENFJ you will bring the best version of yourself to the world when you get inside your own mind and explore every perspective.

Developing Perspectives makes you as an ENFJ insightful and intimately connected. We’d love for you to keep us up to date about your journey. One of the best places to do that is our Facebook page – of course – come over to and leave a comment – ask a question – or take our personality test. Next I want to talk about the defense strategies your mind uses that steal happiness from you.And of course – what to do about it. The word defensive.

You probably think of of an emotional state – or someone getting offended in the moment. “She’s acting so defensive.†someone might say. But I’m not talking about emotions. I’m using the word positionally. As an ENFJ you have a specific area of your mind that you defend. As an ENFJ – That’s your Sensation process sitting in the backseat of your car. It has the sophistication of a 10-year-old child.That’s okay when you use this process to create intimacy or playfulness. The trouble starts when you begin to rely on this 10 year old process to avoid your more intuitive side and overindulge in sensual delights. Since Sensation lives in the here and now – it keeps you in a distracted state, always on the lookout for the next ‘shiny’ object or relationship instead of vetting it for depth or long-term value. Sensation (it’s technical name is Extraverted Sensing) generally shows up for you when you’re afraid of showing deep insight that could lead to social disapproval.

If you let your 10 year old of Sensation do your thinking for you, it will encourage you to develop “monkey mind†leading to impatience and a judgemental attitude. At worst, ENFJs can even become addicts, so afraid of going deep into their own minds – that they can burn out from busyness and or medicate through substance abuse or over-indulgence of sensory pleasures. You need to slow down and explore your inner wisdom to prevent burnout. Don’t let your Sensation process steal your happiness.The solution is to focus on growing your Perspectives process like we’ve talked about before. I want to hear from you. How are you letting your 10 year old of Sensation hijack your happiness? What are the ways you as an ENFJ are avoiding your inner wisdom? You can leave a comment or take our personality test over at Personality Hacker dot com. Next we’ll talk about how you best show and receive love as an ENFJ. I’ve got two quick lists for you today. First – how ENFJs ask “do you love me.†Second – how ENFJs show other people love. Here are a few examples of how ENFJs ask do you love me? Imagine an ENFJ asking these questions: Do you feel connected to me? Will you check in and make sure I’m okay? Will you acknowledge and take care of my needs? Am I safe with you? Do you accept and approve of me? Here are examples of ENFJs saying “Yes – I love you†Imagine an ENFJ making these statements: I will meet your needs before I meet my own.

I will check in regularly and make sure you’re okay. I will do my best to keep my moral up. I will show you appreciation in whatever way I’d like to be shown appreciation. As an ENFJ you are probably nodding in agreement. Just remember that other personalities can sometimes see these ways you show love as smothering or intrusive.Feel free to share with the people in your life how your mind works.

Let them know the ways you show love are truly connective for you. If you want to go deeper in your personal development – we have tons of resources, articles and recordings about personal development through the lens of understanding your personality. Come over to Next up – let’s talk about where to go next in your personal growth as an ENFJ. I have some action steps for you. We’ve been talking about YOU – the ENFJ personality type. I’ve already detailed the mental wiring of your mind. We’ve talked about your highest leverage point for growth and shed light on your defensive strategies. And we’ve outlined how you give and receive love. So what’s next for you as an ENFJ? How will you launch yourself on a personal development journey that resonates with YOU?Understanding that each of us have a unique personal growth path seems obvious. And yet – self help authors and teachers often teach a one size fits all model of growth.

At Personality Hacker – It feels right that personal growth will be personalized to you as an ENFJ. So that’s how we’ve designed our frameworks and models. You now know the mental process to grow yourself as an ENFJ is Perspectives. The enemy of Perspectives is restlessness and sensory over-indulgence. Perspectives requires patience and serenity to dive deep inside your inner wisdom. It encourages you to focus on quality relationships and experiences instead of quantity ‘quick hits’. Taking a meta perspective gives you some distance to respond to the world around you instead of merely reacting or judging it.

Set up your conditions to access this mental process as much as possible. Practice this technique by identifying a person or situation that you can’t see yourself ever condoning. Instead of jumping to condemn the action, take a moment to really get inside the head of that person. How did their action make complete sense to them at the time? Can you understand it so well you could defend it to another person? What about a truly heinous or confusing act? Don’t focus on the act, but on the mind of the person who committed it. If you really want a deep dive into your individual growth plan as an ENFJ I invite you to check out our ENFJ Personal Development Starter Kit.You can find more information at Let me know what personal growth actions you are taking in your life and what has already worked for you.I’m Joel Mark Witt for Personality Hacker.Talk with you soon.

As found on YouTube