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https://www.youtube.com/embed/eVu_ec5q6ns -Let’s get to the news. President Trump sent a letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi today and said the impeachment inquiry is full of shameless lies and deception, which is true. It’s called evidence. [ Laughter ] In President Trump’s letter, he accused Nancy Pelosi of declaring open war on American democracy and said, “You do not know, nor do you care the great damage and hurt you have inflicted upon wonderful and loving members of my family.” This letter is bonkers! I don’t even know how to describe the tone of it. I guess if you took the most privileged white lady ever and gave her a whole bottle of wine and then asked her to write a Yelp review of a restaurant that made her wait 40 minutes for a table and then got her order wrong twice. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] President…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/UfxuZ87-S8Q LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE’RE HERE WITH SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI. THERE WAS A BIG VOTE TODAY IN CONGRESS FORMALIZING THE PROCEDURES FOR IMPEACHMENT. WHEN DO PUBLIC HEARINGS START? >> THEY WILL BE — SOON. >> Stephen: COULD YOU BE VAGUER? ( LAUGHTER ) COULD I ASK YOU A FAVOR, PLEASE? AS SOMEONE WHO HAS TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF EVERY NIGHT, COULD YOU PLEASE NOT HAVE THEM AT NIGHT? BECAUSE THEN I HAVE TO DO A LIVE SHOW EVERY NIGHT AFTER THE HEARINGS. COULD YOU HAVE THEM AT 9:00 IN THE MORNING AND HAVE ALL THE FOOTAGE COME IN BY, SAY, 2:00 S WE CAN DUE TO IT FOR OUR SHOW? >> THAT MIGHT BE A CONSIDERATION. ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: PLEASE.BUT RECOGNIZING THE SERIOUSNESS OF IT, THERE’S PROBABLY NO MORE SERIOUS VOTE THAT MEMBERS COULD TAKE. NOBODY COMES TO CONGRESS TO IMPEACH A PRESIDENT. OUR PURPOSE IS TO…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/tvmX4a4UiyM WELCOME! WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) THANK YOU. I’M GLAD YOU’RE ALL IN A GOOD MOOD BECAUSE I, FOR ONE, AM NOT PANICKING. ( LAUGHTER ) I HAVE THESE BURNED. THEN BURN THE PERSON WHO BURNED THEM. ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE PANICKING. NAMELY, WALL STREET. IN THE FIRST THREE DAYS OF THIS WEEK, THE DOW LOST 2,000 POINTS, BUT LAST NIGHT, DONALD TRUMP HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE TO REASSURE INVESTORS, AND TODAY IT BOUNCED BACK– BY PLUNGING ALMOST 1,200 POINTS, THE LARGEST SINGLE DAY DROP IN HISTORY. THAT MUST BE SO HARD FOR THE GUYS ON WALL STREET. IF ONLY THEY HAD ACCESS TO SOME SORT OF DRUG THAT WOULD MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER. ( LAUGHTER ) AND THEN MAKE THEM THINK THEY COULD START A BAND! ( LAUGHTER ) SEE THERE’S…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7mgZ5xk1g1M -As concerns grow about the government’s handling of the coronavirus outbreak, the president is calling criticism of his response a hoax. For more on this, it’s time for “A Closer Look.” [ Suspenseful theme plays ] [ Cheering and applause ] This was yet another weekend in our manic, head-spinning political era where major news stories were breaking, one after another. The Trump era has turned all of us into cats trying to follow on multiple laser pointers at once. [ Laughter ] Stock market! Democratic primary! Eclipse! [ Laughter ] For one thing, Joe Biden won a landslide victory in the South Carolina primary on Saturday and, as a result, two of his rivals, Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar, dropped out and announced they would endorse Biden.Meanwhile, the third candidate who dropped out, Tom Steyer, did it immediately on election night, one day after dancing onstage during a…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7zjLor4QAcY WELCOME, MY FRIENDS, TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TONIGHT– YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ARE EXCITED BECAUSE TONIGHT IS THE NICE! IT’S SUPER TUESDAY, THE BIGGEST HAUL– THE BIGGEST HAUL OF THE PRIMARY SEASON WHERE TONIGHT THE LION’S SHARE OF THE DELEGATES WERE AWARDED TO… SOMEONE I ASSUME. BECAUSE AS WE TAPE THIS, THE RESULTS AREN’T IN YET. BUT IT’S GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN COMPLETE IGNORANCE TO STOP ME FROM TALKING ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT’S EDITION OF: >> I HAVE A PLAN FOR THAT.>> I BEAT TRUMP! >> MADE A LOT OF MONEY. >> I’M GOING TO BEAT THIS MAN LIKE A DRUM. >> BING, BING, BONG, BONG. >> “FURY ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE 2020: SUPER TUESDAY SENIOR CITIZEN SELECTMAN DOWN. IT ALL DEPENDS ON TONIGHT TO ENSURE VICTORY 2020. >> I DROPPED OUT! >> Stephen: WE…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/hfksbuyrqkQ WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW. I’M STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ANOTHER CANDIDATE HAS DROPPED OUT OF THE DEMOCRATIC RACE. AND WE’RE GETTING A CLEARER PICTURE OF AMERICA’S FUTURE AND IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE AMERICA’S PAST. ( LAUGHTER ) I’LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN TONIGHT’S EDITION OF ♪ >> I HAVE A PLAN FOR THAT. BEAT TRUMP. CORN POP WAS A BAD DUDE! AAAHHH! BING, BING, BONG, BONG.>> FURY ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE 2020! >> COME ON! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) >> Stephen: FOLKS, I’M AFRAID I HAVE SAD NEWS FOR FANS OF COMPETENCE, BECAUSE FRIEND OF THE SHOW, ELIZABETH WARREN HAS DROPPED OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE. ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) THE ONE-TIME FRONTRUNNER, WARREN MADE THE CLASSIC CAMPAIGN MISTAKE OF BEING ABLE TO FINISH A COHERENT SENTENCE AND NOT HAVING A PENIS. ( LAUGHTER ) WARREN IS…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/JiqFnKXf3do -The president went on Fox News and lied to millions of people about the coronavirus outbreak as his administration bungles its response to the crisis. For more on this, it’s time for “A Closer Look.” [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ I think it’s safe to say at this point that the president of the United States is undermining public health. And I’m not just saying that because he looks like an “Outbreak” monkey that escaped from a lab. [ Laughter ] Trump keeps lying to people about the potential threat posed by the spread of the coronavirus while the United States lags behind other countries in testing, even though we’ve had time to learn from their experiences. One infectious disease expert called the lack of widespread accurate testing a national scandal. For example, the CDC website said today that 1,500 patients had been tested just at CDC. Meanwhile,…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/lKAlwCCd_hU -The president appointed Mike Pence to take charge of the response to the coronavirus and held a press conference to try to reassure Americans that ended up reassuring absolutely nobody. For more on this, it’s time for “A Closer Look.” [ Cheers and applause ] -Nearly 3,000 people worldwide have died so far from the coronavirus, and now the CDC has confirmed the first case here in the U.S. of unknown origin. The stock market has plummeted this week on fears of potential global pandemic and officials here are warning that a wider spread in the U.S. is inevitable, or as the president put it during a press conference in India on Tuesday — -You may ask about the coronavirus, which is, you know, very well under control in our country.We have very few people with it and the people that have it are — in all cases I…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/R-Gnari_sTU WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. THE BIG STORY– ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I’M GLAD TO HEAR THESE PEOPLE ALL SOUND HEALTHY AND HAPPY, BECAUSE THE BIG STORY CONTINUES TO BE THE LOOMING THREAT OF THE CORONAVIRUS. FOR LENT, I AM GIVING UP LICKING DOORKNOBS. NOW, CONCERNS OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC ARE GROWING, BUT FEAR NOT– THE PRESIDENT KNOWS HE HAS A SOLEMN DUTY TO PROTECT HIMSELF, BECAUSE THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS AFRAID THAT THE CORONAVIRUS WILL HURT HIS RE-ELECTION BID. I LOOK FORWARD TO THAT TRANSCRIPT BEING RELEASED. ( AS TRUMP ) “HELLO, UKRAINE? I NEED INFORMATION ON A ‘HUNTER’ CORONAVIRUS.” ( LAUGHTER ) SO YESTERDAY, TRUMP TRIED TO REASSURE US. >> THERE’S A VERY GOOD CHANCE YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE. ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: OH, REALLY? REALLY? >> Jon: YE, REALLY NICE. >> Stephen: THAT’S VERY COMFORTING.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Kcrf5foF0CY WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. THE 2020 ELECTION– ( APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY IS EXCITED. YOU KNOW WHY, JON, IT’S BECAUSE THE 2020 ELECTION IS FINALLY UNDER WAY. TODAY WAS THE NEW HAMPSHIRE PRI SO AFTER A YEAR OF CAMPAIGNING, WE ONLY HAVE NINE MONTHS TO GO. I’LL GIVE YOU ALL THE LATEST IN TONIGHT’S EDITION OF… >> I HAVE A PLAN FOR THAT. >> A PROGRESSIVE AGENDA. ( HORN BEEPING ). >> YOU’RE A LYING DOG-FACED PONY SOLDIER. >> I THINK THEY WILL END UP BEING THE LOSERS. >> FURY ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE, 2020. >> Stephen: HIS TIRE IS CUT, MAN. HIS TIRE LOOKS GOOD. >> Jon: HE GOT CUT. >> Stephen: NOW, WE TAPED THE SHOW BEFORE THE POLLS CLOSED TODAY SO WE DON’T KNOW WHO WON IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, OR IOWA. ( LAUGHTER ) BUT WE…